I think I'll pray today.

I want to feel God. I don't think I'll ever be able to. I'm too neurotic to ever sit down and meditate and feel the divine within me, expanding my chest, inducing existential realization. I'll always be wondering about what comes next, why did I say something I said to someone three days earlier and shoot, I forgot to mail my keys to my old landlord.

Isn't experiencing the divine supposed to be like...calm? I'm not a calm person. I don't think calm people eat compulsively. If there is a calm person that does, I have yet to meet them.

I've been getting into Eastern Philosophy lately...sparked somewhat by "Eat. Pray. Love." but also by hearing about Hinduism from my boyfriend, who is first generation Indian (Bengali, specifically). I have completely rejected Christianity...and Islam and Judaism for that matter. Too much dogma. Too many rules. Too much hate for those who are different.

I just don't see the world that way.