Step 6

I finally finished Step 6. After a few months, I feel that I can honestly say I am ready to move on to Step 7. I did this in an interesting way, at the suggestion of my [now former] sponsor. She suggested that for each of the defects I listed when I did Step 4, I answer the following questions:

1) How does this defect hurt me?

2) How does it help?

3) Use whichever question(s) seem most relevant: If I didn’t have this defect, What would I be like? Or… What would my life be like? Or… What would be different?

It was an interesting assignment, and I thought that it was especially interesting to think about how certain defects help me. Like, "Well, I'm impatient, crass, judgmental and fearful of the future...but it's actually a good thing! Really!"

But seriously, it was very helpful. In listing not only the harmful aspects of the defects, but the helpful aspects as well, I was able to see where my real problems lie. For example, so many of my defects made me feel like I was in control, which is why I continue to have them. I want to feel in control, so I continue to be judgmental, impatient, etc. And why do I feel the need to be in control? Well, I guess that kind of psychoanalysis will have to wait for another entry.

Here's my gratitude list for the evening:

OA meetings

OA literature

blogger.com

my elementary school for teaching me to write

my job

my bed (what?? It's comfy!!)

health

Good night!